Unexpected Grace

I don't really know why they came.

I didn't know why they had showed up at my doorstep months earlier--strangers with huge smiles and easy laughter that filled empty spaces in my heart. My friend, to whom one was less of a stranger, had invited them to visit, but then ended up being out of town when they came, and after some discussion, Eric and I invited them over for our apartment's weekly "curry night" (ie - make a huge pot of food with enough leftovers to last through the week's teaching schedule). To our surprise, they came and talked...and sang...and prayed...and blessed. They slipped out the door into the night afterwards and moved on to their next assignment, next place. And I still didn't know why they had come.

I should have recognized the same signs in the gathering this last weekend. This week was all set up to have been one of the busiest weeks of the year--regular teaching hours plus Christmas event this weekend plus music rehearsals and program arranging for a concert Sunday plus a visiting pastor and planning/leading church worship plus prayer week plus new Bible study that needs prep plus...you get the picture. When my friend told me that 5 visitors were coming to start the week off, I finally answered something like, "Sure, okay. That's fine. We'll work something out," but I might have been crying with exhaustion on the inside. My friend told me that these were 24-7 prayer people...people who pray and listen and talk. They were coming from around the world and collectively brought experiences and talents that were rather staggering. And I asked again, internally, "Why are they coming here?"

They came on Sunday evening (7 instead of 5!) and talked about prayer with us and the pastor and a few church members, sharing stories of revelations and miracles, but mostly talking about relationship, trust, and love. I heard the words as if from a distance...the price of "church work" has been that God is my boss, exacting hours and numbers and budgets. The price of church work in a disaster-hit area has been that God destroys, kills, asks for sacrifice, commands us to suffer for his sake. The price of the last year here, where those things are combined, has been sometimes too awful for words, and I have paid out so much of my ability to recognize God's love. We listened, and prayed, and then led them to different futons set up in small houses--hospitality in the close quarters of Japan. And I woke up tossing and sleepless in the night, thinking of all the details that could not be forgotten and half-dreaming of miserable business meetings and the difficult navigation of culture and choices and responsibilities and boundaries. And I wondered again why they had come.

The morning brought eggs and oatmeal and bread and lots of coffee. And they started trickling into Eric's and my apartment for breakfast and conversation...bringing their laughter and smiles and caring questions and English conversation and the precious wisdom of older mentors who work with the everlasting and ever-young God. And they talked about God as our loving Father, as One who delights in His children. They talked about the Creator God, who makes each person unique and amazing, somehow each a reflection of the magnificence of the Creator. And they talked about grace, which abounds over and above our numbers, budgets, hours, actions, sufferings, commandments, disobedience, and more. They talked about how wide and long and high and deep the love of God is, that the last word with God is not death but life, not judgment but mercy, not slave but son or daughter. And they blessed us to sin boldly (in the Lutheran translation) and to be loved fiercely by our Father and to grasp that love through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I remember two years ago, when a church member asked me what I thought of the church in Japan...how with tears in my eyes, I replied "I don't think my church in Japan knows about God's love or grace." I was amazed this week to find how much I don't know about God's love or grace. For the first time in a long while, I was not hearing gospel-words from a distance, encased in a shell of obligation and responsibility, but hearing them for me: "How wide, and long, and high, and deep is the love of God for His daughter!" Watching our visitors, one could see that the love's width, depth, and height are not "mastered"--or learned, realized, and boxed up with a bow. They were still experiencing it, even as they told us about it. In the midst of dripping tears and sloshing coffee, in the midst of strangers sharing together, it was real--a family love, a Father's love, an unconditional grace.

How do I hold onto this grace, this love? How indeed, when all the world and the church seems against it? First, I guess, is the realization that I am not clinging to the edge of a crumbling cliff, but wrapped in the arms of my Father, who does the holding. Second is praying for the Spirit, knowing that the "love-joy-peace-patience..." (cue the children's song that always pops into my head when I think of the fruit of the Spirit :)) is nothing I can create with willpower or by bending my character to a moral code of kindness and hope, but created through the Spirit of the Creator God.

If you were to ask me now, "Why did they come--those pastors and strangers and leaders in different nations? Why did they come to your city, to your home?", my first response would still probably be, "I have no idea--at least, not for a 'logical, responsible' sort of an answer." But I think...maybe they came because God was trying to give us a miracle. He was trying to speak into us the miracle of His love...speak truth into a net of deception. It makes me laugh now--a laugh of rejoicing in the Father's love. God organized a 7-person, powerful "hit team" to get His message of love across to us.

Japan is such a strange place. The driest, most difficult land I have ever known...and yet the ground for the craziest, most extravagant miracles I have seen. Please Father, continue to shower your love here...

Apples in Aomori

I'm not sure if anyone will actually read this blog, since it's over 3 months old, and I 'm just posting it now. . . I found it in my "Drafts" folder and decided to publish it.  It's mostly just pictures:

The Christian Network Center in Aomori (the northern-most prefecture on the main island of Japan) invited the Fukushima Hope Project (Kids Camp) to come up for a weekend trip.  Aomori is a little far away from Fukushima (about 6 hours by bus), but the trip was worth it.  I had a lot of fun on this trip: playing games with kids on the bus ride and visiting with Japanese volunteers that I had met before.  My favorite part, hands down, was the visit to the apple orchard.  They were the biggest apples I've ever seen!  I returned home with plenty of juicy apples for Haidee and me to enjoy!

Pictures from our November 3rd - 4th  Kids Camp:

Waiting for the kids to arrive. . .

We were on the bus for a LONG time . . . 6 hours one way.

Our first stop in Aomori was the aquarium.

Dinner at the Aomori Christian Center

Nakajima Sensei is a pastor who works at the Christian Center.

Playing before Sunday worship.

The apple orchard!

Carefully searching for the perfect apple.  Each child got to pick 5.

I liked this kid's bear hood.

English Experience II: Dance!

I wrote a little bit last month about our Fall English Experiences happening at the English school on Saturdays.  On Saturday, October 27th we had our second event:  Dance!  A bunch of Cindy's high school students showed up for this event and we had a blast!  We taught them the very popular American dances:  The Chicken Dance, Electric Slide, Cha Cha Slide, YMCA, and Contra Dancing.

Y-M-C-A!

For more pictures and the rest of the story, click here to visit the blog that Haidee writes for the English school.

Encouragement in Faith

The Bibles scattered around the table were opened to Psalm 136: "Give thanks to the Lord...His love endures forever." The pastor explained that in Japanese, "His love endures forever" comes across as a prayer--"May His love endure forever"--but that the true meaning was less a prayer and more a proclamation: "Hey, Israel! God's love endures forever!" The pastor went on to explain that each line of Psalm 136 gave Israel another reason for thankfulness, another example of God's love enduring forever.

The ladies around the table looked at each other in surprise and bewilderment. "Wow! The psalmist really spoke very concretely of God's love and His actions! That's not very Japanese!" was one comment. "It's difficult to imagine being so concrete and direct," said another.


I was the sole foreigner at the table for this Japanese Bible study. Every week we meet--a rag-tag group, in my mind, with me usually coming from a quick attempt at house-cleaning and the pastor's wife running around grabbing garbage to set out at the corner and others tumbling in from various experiences and in various forms. The discussions we have are usually very...formulaic, in my opinion. But that's because I'm a foreigner. Most weeks I just listen and try to glean what I can regarding people's opinions, concerns, etc. Sometimes I share a bit about what we are learning in English Bible study, if the topics coincide. This week I decided to take a deep breath and plunge into the murky pool of faith discussions between our two cultures.

"I understand that Japanese people aren't very direct..." I said slowly, trying to figure out what Japanese words would be good to use. "But I have a question then. How do Japanese people remember God's actions if they don't speak clearly about what He's done? How do they grow their relationship with God? How do they speak indirectly about what God has done, but still remember it?"

This led to over an hour of discussion, and we covered many bases as we went around the table--going to temples and shrines, women's rights, Christian families, Buddhist art, Japanese styles of education and imitation, and more. I was told again that because I come from America, I probably expect people to want to be Christian right away, but Japanese people have very different ideas of God...etc. etc.

Finally, on my third attempt to clarify the question and say that I was not condemning Japanese culture or saying that Japanese should be more direct, but wondering how they have relationships based on such indirect-ness, I just said honestly, "Personally, it's hard to support my faith here. When I live in America, I can go to Bible studies and share thoughts about the Bible...I can talk about personal things and things that God is doing...I can list God's actions in my life, like in Psalm 136...but in Japan, Christians don't seem to do that. So I am just alone, trying to support my faith and remember God. How do Christians in Japan support their faith?"


As soon as I said it, I realized that that had really been my question all along. One of the blessings of working in a Japanese church is seeing the differences of culture and really learning what faith looks like in the eyes of a Japanese person. One of the difficulties of working in a Japanese church is that ways I might have in America to support faith are gone. (Example: one church member told me angrily of a former American teacher who used to pray for people by name, thereby bringing great embarrassment to them. While I would naturally shy away from mentioning what I'd consider personal things in prayer, the lines making things personal or public here are very different.) Speaking about faith with others--not appropriate. Praying about personal things with others--not appropriate. Understanding what I sing/read/hear in worship on Sunday morning--well, I can do about 50%.


As I asked the question, silence settled on the room for a moment. Then one church member answered, "I remember that Jesus is with me."


I'm so glad that He is. When it seems like our words and thoughts and faith expressions are completely opposite, He is here. When words just don't quite reach deep enough, He is here. When we end up hurting each other and speaking words of frustration or judgment, He is still here. When I crave words of forgiveness and love and get impersonal lectures, He is still here. When I am too emotional and embarrass the other church members, He is still here.

The discussion was a good reminder of our differences and different ways of thinking...and if anyone knows how to express the idea of "encouragement in faith" for both new and old Christians (maybe a word with a more passive connotation?) in Japanese, please let me know for future discussions! :) It was also a good reminder of God's grace in the middle of our relationships. It's hard for both the church and for me to work together--it's unnatural, you might say. But we do it...and I am blessed by their forgiveness and the way they try to fight to understand me, and I am blessed when I try to fight and understand them.

Give thanks to the Creator of all, who brings people together and keeps giving them forgiveness and strength...
                                     His love endures forever!