A Trip to Zao Onsen

Haidee and I decided to go on a short "weekend" get-a-way to a popular tourist spot in Yamagata Prefecture (just to the north of Fukushima).  Zao Onsen （蔵王温泉） is a beautiful little village in the mountains above Yamagata City.  While it's most famous for its winter skiing, there are some beautiful hiking trails that make it a good summer location as well.  Haidee did some research and found a small Japanese inn that serves dinner and breakfast, and we saw some really great pictures and reviews online.  So, a week later, we hopped into the car and made the 2 hour trip up north into the mountains to check it out. 

We arrived in the tiny village and found the hotel that Haidee made reservations at.  It was the perfect location, right in the middle of town, next to a hot springs river (steaming and bubbling).  As it turned out, we were the only guests!  Apparently, during the rainy season (June - early July), there aren't many visitors to Zao Onsen, so the shop owners take a little vacation.  That was fine by us.  We enjoyed a private dinner for two in small dining room, served by our very kind hosts:  a Japanese man and his wife.  They gave us a coupon for a public 温泉, so we enjoyed an after-dinner bath, Japanese style! 

As the name suggests, there are many hot spring (温泉) baths throughout Zao Onsen.  Being a volcanic island, Japan has hundreds of natural hot springs, which are often utilized to create public baths.  Let me tell you:  you've never truly taken a bath unless you've bathed naked outdoors in steaming hot, very acidic (not to mention smelly), natural hot spring pools, along with a half dozen other Japanese people.  It's pretty amazing, actually.  The high mineral content of the water is supposed to be very good for your body.  It leaves your skin feeling very soft and smooth.  Just don't bring metals inside with you (like wedding rings).  The water is very acidic and corrosive (the pH is around 1.5)!

Our tiny inn, with a beautiful tree right out front.  The only two cars were ours and our host's.

Our room was a traditional Japanese-style room, with tatami floors and futon mats to sleep on.

A view from the window of our room:  the babbling brook fed by volcanic hot springs.

Dinner was sukiyaki: meat, vegetables, and mushrooms cooked in a pot on the table, served with pickled vegetables and raw eggs.

A public hot springs bath ( 温泉) in Zao Onsen.  (No, I didn't bring my camera into the bath. . . I found this pic on the internet)

We woke up the next morning to some beautiful sunny weather!  (Japan is in the middle of rainy season - we were very fortunate).  After breakfast we traveled via "Ropeway" (large cable gondolas) to the beginning of the hiking trail, and enjoyed some incredible views!  After about 15 minutes of hiking we realized we weren't going to need the extra layers of clothing we packed (in case the weather had turned out otherwise), so we took turns wearing Eric's long-sleeved green shirt as a turban.  Hiking along the summit of the mountain border between Yamagata and Miyagi Prefectures gave us the impression that we were on the top of the world!  (when, in fact, we were only about one mile above sea level).  Mount Zao is an active volcano, and as we neared the summit we saw a beautiful volcanic crater lake (called Okama 御釜 - because it resembles a traditional cooking pot).  The pictures really don't do it justice.  The colors were amazing.

Taking the "Ropeway" to the trailhead.

Eric sporting the turban.

I think Haidee looks like a shepherdess with the turban.

Looking to the west on Yamagata City (there were actually snow-capped mountains visible ABOVE the cloud line in the far off distance. . . . difficult to see in the pictures, though.

Haidee looking east on Miyagi prefecture.

The crater lake: 御釜

Eric and 御釜

We ate a packed lunch at the top (and enjoyed a steam boiled egg and konyaku on a stick sold by some vendors), and began our descent.  We took a little detour which bypassed a ropeway station and took us further down the mountain, through a forest.  We walked a little longer than we intended (on our now very sore feet), but we came across a little picturesque marsh along the way.  From there we took a little ski lift down to another ropeway station and back to the foot of the mountain. 

Taking our detour down the mountain, through some beautiful foliage.

We came out of the woods and found a little marsh!

Riding a little chair lift down the mountain; feet sore and noses sunburned, but happy with the day's hiking adventure.

After a meal and another HOT (emphasis on hot) springs bath to sooth our aching legs, we packed up the car and headed back to Fukushima.  We would recommend Zao Onsen to anyone interested in good food, hot baths, and beautiful scenery!  (To see pictures of Zao Onsen in the winter, click here.)

Japan leads 500 to zero...

I've often heard people say that with more international travel, we'd  have a better chance at world peace. They seem to envision a place where cultures teach and learn together with joy and safety...a place of tolerance, open-mindedness, and the value of embracing differences.

Either I'm missing some important part of this "living overseas" process, or that vision is a bunch of baloney.

I really shouldn't make this all that dramatic...it is merely another day where Japan's score feels as though it's a billion, and I...well, I'm still stuck at zero.

When I started this school year in April, everyone on my "school board" was concerned about the amount of teaching hours I had (I've been teaching more hours than what is in my work contract pretty much 85% of the time that I've been in Fukushima--sometimes by choice, and sometimes because of pressure), and they all tried to cut different classes to get me down to contract. I told them, at that time, that I had a good handle on the classes I have now, cut what I could, and kept the rest because of good connections with the students, it made good financial sense for the school, etc. Anyway, we met at a good place, and I feel really happy with the class schedule I have right now. Between teaching, acting as receptionist, and a long commute to Koriyama, I usually "put in" about 8 hours Tuesday, 10 hours Wednesday, 12 hours Thursday, 7 hours Friday, and some prep hours between Saturday and Monday. This is a light schedule, I know, but it doesn't count any board meetings, church meetings, church events, or school events...those are all extra.

One of my evening classes is full, and because one more student emailed to request information about a class, I'm now being pressured to open up a new 90 min. evening class for adults.

This is so normal. It's a new class this week, and next week it will be a Kids' Camp. The week after, the pressuring discussion will be to join a committee to make a new Christian play area for kids to escape radiation. And how can I possible explain the cultural pressure? These discussions aren't "brainstorming talks," they aren't invitations to partner in a job...they're horrifyingly impossible to say no to without feeling like a complete shmuck who is now banned from fellowship.

What do I say? I want to simply point out that 3 months ago, everyone was talking about cutting classes with already-present students...why are we trying to add them now, with students who just might be interested? I want to present some great logical statement that will be both culturally appropriate and uphold good boundaries and still keep great relationships between all of us.

What do I actually do? Come home and cry. Which has happened so many times since that stupid big earthquake that it is quite pathetic. And which is why Japan's score is at something like 500, and I'm still at zero.

This country makes me hate myself.

Why can't I just sacrifice more? Or, if I can't do that, why can't I present a good statement as to why I won't sacrifice more? Do I just not love God enough? Do I just not love people enough? Am I just weak? Are they just crazy with their expectations?

I hate Japan for its abuse of families...for its mockery of human value...for its horrible pressure to perform and its modern slavery that can be found in the schools and the companies.

But mostly, I think I hate it because it makes me hate myself.

There is no holy platitude that can take away this cultural pressure. There is no tolerant, open-minded sentence that answers the depth of the ache, the feeling of being used and thrown out, the feeling of being a piece of machinery that is only worth something when it does a job.

And there is nothing that can soothe my pride, which wants to do a good job and wants to be loving and tolerant and holy and helpful...and every single day is a failure.

I feel like this season of my life is something like the whole country of Japan standing on my self-worth and jumping up and down on it. :)

A quote from Forde's, On Being a Theologian of the Cross caught my attention the other day:
"By faith we become a human being, a person of this world...because there is nothing to do now but wait, hope, pray, and trust in the promise of him who nevertheless conquers, the crucified and risen Jesus. By faith we are simply in Christ, waiting to see what will happen to and in us."

I'm neither an all-powerful god, nor a worthless piece of machinery...just human, by faith. Guess that will have to be enough, for both my pride and Japan's expectations.

I also cling to the belief that even though I pretty much suck, God does work, and love, and bring life. So I'm calming my tears by alternatively typing furiously to get it off my chest and reading the last two stanzas of Clough's poem:

For while the tired waves, vainly breaking,

Seem here no painful inch to gain,

Far back, through creeks and inlets making,

Comes silent, flooding in, the main.

And not by eastern windows only, 

When daylight comes, comes in the light;

In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly!

But westward, look, the land is bright! 

Moving on from Good Friday...

Many people commented and offered words of encouragement and prayer after my Good Friday post this last spring. I was--and am--thankful for and sometimes downright awestruck of the support and love of so many!

To give a quick, hopefully succinct recap: the line between faith-based religious activity and obligatory religious activity had been destroyed in my heart, and the only real thing I could think regarding God was that he was always displeased, demanding more of me than what I could give and then asking me to be joyful and loving on top of it all. For the record, that kind of thinking just seems to lead to huge amounts of inescapable judgement, constant failure, and a whole lot of hatred.

Judgement...failure...hatred. Yeah, I felt and thought and wielded those weapons in a kind of attempt at self-protection that sliced and diced myself and others. And I supposed that shouldn't all be in past-tense, because it is still a daily reality.

But something has also changed since Good Friday, and that is what I want to share.

Sometimes, God and I enjoy each other's presence. 

Even while typing, I feel like those words should be whispered, just lightly brushing the page, because how can God, perfect and mighty, enjoy me, a sinful person who hey, just admitted to judgement, failure, and hatred...and isn't that supposed to be the same as murder in God's eyes?

Well, it started before Good Friday, I guess...this God who loves relationship and who created people "just because"...

And for me, recently, it started after Good Friday...after looking my hatred of God and myself in the face.

It started in a practical move regarding scheduling: now, I only come to church on the fourth Sunday of the month for the worship and prayer service and the church elders' meeting. I asked my bosses for permission to do this from May to August, to receive some time to study the Bible in English and worship in English again.

It started in talking and listening to God in the way that I have my best friendships: while running, moving, touching piano keys or plucking guitar strings. I bowed out of prayer meetings, other Bible studies, and church classes, and started reading my Bible for myself instead of always needing to read it to prepare for the next event or class.

It started in reading and finding encouragement in words others have written: Orphan, Slave Son and TOM and the Goldfish Bowl by Ben Pasley, On Being a Theologian of the Cross by Forde, The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity by Carol Brown, and other books of those from varying backgrounds and experiences.

It wasn't my relationship with God that started. I know that our relationship isn't a new thing...but the enjoyment is new for this season of my life.

Other things have come with this decision to back away from church activities for a bit and say no to some things...like the realization that I am a child of God, and part of His Church regardless of whether I'm in church or not. So I can be on worship and prayer duty in my apartment, or on my run, or in a restaurant, or wherever...I don't have to just get my hours in at the church building. Another re-realization is that any program that focuses on us being "better" Christians should be thought through carefully. Very, very carefully.
Another realization is that I need to "have" a theology of the Holy Spirit of some kind...Paul says that we are not under law, but under Spirit...and if I don't know what the Holy Spirit does or is to me in my daily life, then I easily slip under the law again.

Some other things have come that are not as joyful or exciting. I'm pretty sure that my pastor and church just think that I'm suffering from a "seishin-tekina byouki", which is some psychological disorder or sickness, and that's why I'm taking time off (for the record, I'm still teaching all my English classes). Being as that's the easiest way to describe having a differing opinion in this country, I don't mind that label. And I think part of the diagnosis is true--there is a lot that has been going on in my life, mind, and heart for awhile now, and it's hard to know what is "healthy" and what is "sick." But even though I value greatly and am so thankful for the Sundays that I can have off until August, I wish that the discussions we have could happen without the stigma of being mentally ill. Eric calls this time "my sabbatical"...definitely not the way the Japanese church sees it, and that's a bit hard. I can count on two fingers the times in my adult life that I've made a big choice to do something that I knew would cause offense, disagreement, and separation. It wasn't easy the first time. It isn't easy now.

I'm not exactly sure what will come out of these few months of time. New directions? New "theology"? Whatever the end result of this time will be, I'm blessed to explore enjoyment in my relationship with God...blessed to explore more of who God is, who I am, and what forgiveness and grace mean! Listening to Andrew Peterson's "The Last Frontier" last night, I was struck by his lyrical description of what seems to be a similar journey, and I thought I'd include a link and words here. Yes, there are many moments of running from grace and simply wanting to sit in a black hole with the despair and ugliness of my heart...but what a blessing to find, even in the dark pit, the surrounding of God's love!

"The Last Frontier"

Why don't the mountains make me cry no more?They don't sing the way they did beforeThey're just piles of stoneAs dead as bonesLike corpses on a field of warAnd they just don't make me cry no more

And the highway's like an old sad songPeople moving through their lives aloneOn the run from graceFrom place to placeLike fugitives without a homeAnd the highway's like an old sad song

And my heart is black as coalIt's been mined and there ain't no goldIt's so dark in thereBut I don't careI will lay down in this empty holeWhere my heart is black as coal

And oh, there is nowhere left to go from hereI have fallen past the last frontierBut at the bottom of this well I hear you breathing

Love below meLove around meLove above meLove has found meLove has found me here