The sun is shining, and blossoms are starting to color the trees with shades of pink, white, and yellow. Layers of colored gelatin are hardening slowly in the refrigerator for tomorrow's Easter luncheon at church. The day literally shouts of spring and new life and the hope that we will gather to celebrate in the morning.
But I'm still stuck in the darkness of Good Friday, my mind turning over yesterday's reflections and grieving.
"It is finished" (John 19:30).
We read those words of Jesus last night from the gospel of John and talked a bit about what it means for the work of salvation to really be finished...for us to know God's forgiveness has been victorious over our sin.
I want to say that I was listening to the discussion with a heart pierced with a sense of confession and God's love. I want to say that I was thankful, filled with gratitude. I want to say that it was meaningful and moving, and that in the depths of Good Friday's sadness I experienced the joy of being forgiven.
Confession: I was seething. As I listened to those around me describe in broken voices filled with awe the passion and love of our Savior, I was seething at life...at sin...at myself.
Is it really finished? Really?
Let me paint you a picture for a moment. My church has an average 18 worshipers on a Sunday. The main core of active members are over 75 years old. They come to church multiple times a week, volunteer at events, and try to support each other as best they can. But they are slowly getting weaker...that is the normal process of life. And when they come to church, they are encouraged to participate more, sacrifice more, look at things with spiritual eyes instead of physical eyes, grow in their active love for other people...and guilt abounds.
I am a pastor's daughter. I can't remember a time when a church has ever really said, "It is finished."
Just rest. Just be. It is enough.
We sacrifice sleep, time, health, relationships, money, hobbies, and more. Those who do are held up as "good Christians." Those who do not seem to be told they need to become more mature Christians.
Can the church even exist without putting such pressure on people? Although the church is the body of Christ, it is also an organization, needing money and resources and volunteers to make the wheels of the structure turn. The main message may be, "You are saved by grace," but some part of the message must be, "We need your money and your time. Please. Thank you."
It is finished?
I wish that this post was a taradiddle. Wish I didn't have these feelings or these questions. Wish I was somehow more pious or more thankful. Wish that I could just chalk this all up to sin and a sinful world and receive forgiveness and move on.
However, I'm an employee of the church. I'm a missionary here. And I'm haunted by this question that nags at my mind and refuses to go away...and when I succeed in answering it for a moment, it comes back twice as strong: What if, in inviting people to become part of the church, I'm inviting them to a life of guilt and shame, of forever "not being enough"?
But then Peter's comment also comes to mind: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" (John 6:68).
I'm going to choose to believe Jesus' words are true: It is finished!
I stand forgiven, which is incredibly amazing considering my ingratitude, anger, angst, selfishness, etc. I'm not forgiven because of my pious attitude during the Good Friday service, not forgiven because of my hours of work or because of my "missionary service"--not at all!
Sinful to the core and totally confused, I'm still loved and forgiven. What crazy grace!
But if I believe that, what do I do?
These questions are serious, and they are painful. I've left my family, moved to another country, learned a new language, bumbled around like a child, tried to learn new cultural traditions and a way of life, sacrificed relationships with friends, given up educational dreams, etc. And if this has all been done to share the wonderful love and forgiveness of our Savior, great!! If it has simply allowed more people to be put in even deeper chains of guilt, separated them from their families, and told them that they need to "do more"...out of thankfulness for God's love, of course (a bit of sarcasm there)...well, then I need to stop what I'm doing.
Thoughts? Comments? Please...words of wisdom or advice? I realize that I am just a sinful human being, trying to wrestle with mysteries of the Divine. But I believe that God gives grace for our wrestling moments...
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Two Weeks in Tokyo
If you read any of Haidee's blog posts last week, you'll know that I (Eric) have been living in Tokyo for the past couple weeks preparing for a new job that I'll begin at the end of the month.
ECC (the largest English conversation company in Japan) has over 170 schools in Japan, one of which is in Fukushima City, only a 10 minute walk from our apartment. Haidee's brother, Joel, has been working there for a year and a half, and really loves his job. When I learned that a full time teaching position would soon be available, I jumped at the opportunity and applied for the job. ECC requires all of their new employees to attend a two-week job training at the Kanto headquarters in Tokyo.
And so, last Saturday morning, I found myself on a Shinkansen (bullet train) speeding towards Tokyo at about 300 km/h (186 m//h). I arrived at Shinjuku station in less than 2 hours. Over 3.5 million people use Shinjuku station (新宿駅) every day, making it the world's busiest transportation hub. It's also very close to ECC's 10-story headquarters building where I attended training every day (except Sundays). That being said, I got a little disoriented at the station and ended up being about 20 minutes late to training. Big Mistake. In Japan, being one minute late is just as bad as being an hour late. It's okay, I didn't get fired . . . .but I was reminded of the importance of arriving early (especially when you're not entirely sure how to get there).
Other than that, ECC training has been a blast! There are 15 of us new teachers (split into two training groups) from England, Australia, Canada, and the USA. It's kind of like being in college all over again: we're in class for about 7 hours a day, visit during lunch and breaks, and occasionally go out together in the evenings. I really enjoy having a group of peers to hang out with. It's been a lot of fun getting to know everyone.
The training itself is pretty intense. ECC has a lot of very specific teaching methods and procedures that they'd like their teachers to follow. It's fun to watch the trainers demo lessons for us - they're really good teachers! It can also be a little intimidating - it's a lot of information to digest in a short period of time. We had training for adult classes last week. I definitely have more experience with adult classes (most of my teaching this last year at Izumi Lutheran has been adults), and I found the methods and tips that ECC presented to be very helpful! Most nights Haidee and I would talk on the phone and I'd recap the things that were covered in that day's training.
This week we're in kid's training. We take off our shoes at the door, sit cross-legged on cushions, and act like 3-12 year old Japanese kids. We have a lot of fun and laugh a lot! It reminds me a lot of my classroom music education pedagogy classes back in college. The instructors are pros at teaching kids, and it's really amazing to sit back and observe their teaching methodology. Excellent teaching is like an artform: it looks so smooth and simple, but just underneath the surface there are many specific methods being implemented. Our own teaching demonstrations will be at the end of the week. I'd really like to do well on this one, as the vast majority of my classes that I teach at ECC in Fukushima will be for kids.
When I'm not in training, I've had a little bit of practice navigating Tokyo's vast train system. My first Sunday (and day off) I went traveled by train to Sakurashinmachi to visit some friends that I had met last May at a Kid's Camp in Fukushima. I made it to the correct location (after asking a clerk at Seven Eleven convenience store where the church was located). It was wonderful to see familiar faces and share stories with each other!
One night later that week I took a 6:30pm train (right in the middle of rush hour) on the Shōnan-Shinjuku Line. It was packed full, but I somehow managed to squeeze onto the train. Then, all of a sudden, I was swept along with the mass of people further into the middle of the train car. During rush hour at some of the busier train stations in Tokyo, there are employees with white gloves whose job is to literally push people onto the trains to fill them to maximum capacity before the doors slide shut. I'd heard about these people-pushers, but had never experienced it before. Needless to say there was no need for me to hold on to the plastic rings along the ceiling for support, I wasn't going to move anywhere. Thankfully, two stops later, a good percentage of people got off the train and I could breathe again. What an experience!
The second Sunday I was in Tokyo Haidee came down to visit!! We met our friend Efrain and his fiancee Seiko at Tokyo Baptist Church, and went out to lunch together afterwards. Then Haidee and I wandered around Shin-Okubo (the neighborhood where I'm staying) for the afternoon. It's kind of like a Korea Town - with lots of Korean grocery stores and restaurants. We enjoyed a somewhat pricey, but incredible meal at a Korean BBQ restaurant called プングム (Pungumu). The meal came with a variety of Korean side dishes called banchan (like kimchi, pajun, kaenip), spicy soups, and other things we didn't recognize. The best part was that the server brought the meat to our table and BBQ'd it for us on a little charcoal grill placed on our table (perfect for a chilly evening). I'd recommend this restaurant to anyone.
So, would I ever want to live in Tokyo? Probably not. It's so massive, crowded, and noisy. With all the trains, lights, buildings, hustle and bustle there's a constant energy in the air that, while it may be a little exciting at first, would really drain me out. But it's where the people are. And it's been pretty fun to not be the only strange foreigner living in the neighborhood (in fact, Tokyo is quite diverse). I think I'll continue to enjoy traveling to Tokyo for an occasional visit. . . and then I'll enjoy coming back to Fukushima!
ECC (the largest English conversation company in Japan) has over 170 schools in Japan, one of which is in Fukushima City, only a 10 minute walk from our apartment. Haidee's brother, Joel, has been working there for a year and a half, and really loves his job. When I learned that a full time teaching position would soon be available, I jumped at the opportunity and applied for the job. ECC requires all of their new employees to attend a two-week job training at the Kanto headquarters in Tokyo.
 |
| It's the first time in my life that I've had to wear a suit and tie to work every day! |
And so, last Saturday morning, I found myself on a Shinkansen (bullet train) speeding towards Tokyo at about 300 km/h (186 m//h). I arrived at Shinjuku station in less than 2 hours. Over 3.5 million people use Shinjuku station (新宿駅) every day, making it the world's busiest transportation hub. It's also very close to ECC's 10-story headquarters building where I attended training every day (except Sundays). That being said, I got a little disoriented at the station and ended up being about 20 minutes late to training. Big Mistake. In Japan, being one minute late is just as bad as being an hour late. It's okay, I didn't get fired . . . .but I was reminded of the importance of arriving early (especially when you're not entirely sure how to get there).
 |
| Shinjuku Station - west exit - at 3pm on a weekday |
Other than that, ECC training has been a blast! There are 15 of us new teachers (split into two training groups) from England, Australia, Canada, and the USA. It's kind of like being in college all over again: we're in class for about 7 hours a day, visit during lunch and breaks, and occasionally go out together in the evenings. I really enjoy having a group of peers to hang out with. It's been a lot of fun getting to know everyone.
.JPG) |
| ECC headquarters in Shinjuku |
The training itself is pretty intense. ECC has a lot of very specific teaching methods and procedures that they'd like their teachers to follow. It's fun to watch the trainers demo lessons for us - they're really good teachers! It can also be a little intimidating - it's a lot of information to digest in a short period of time. We had training for adult classes last week. I definitely have more experience with adult classes (most of my teaching this last year at Izumi Lutheran has been adults), and I found the methods and tips that ECC presented to be very helpful! Most nights Haidee and I would talk on the phone and I'd recap the things that were covered in that day's training.
 |
| Our fun training group! |
This week we're in kid's training. We take off our shoes at the door, sit cross-legged on cushions, and act like 3-12 year old Japanese kids. We have a lot of fun and laugh a lot! It reminds me a lot of my classroom music education pedagogy classes back in college. The instructors are pros at teaching kids, and it's really amazing to sit back and observe their teaching methodology. Excellent teaching is like an artform: it looks so smooth and simple, but just underneath the surface there are many specific methods being implemented. Our own teaching demonstrations will be at the end of the week. I'd really like to do well on this one, as the vast majority of my classes that I teach at ECC in Fukushima will be for kids.
 |
| Friends |
When I'm not in training, I've had a little bit of practice navigating Tokyo's vast train system. My first Sunday (and day off) I went traveled by train to Sakurashinmachi to visit some friends that I had met last May at a Kid's Camp in Fukushima. I made it to the correct location (after asking a clerk at Seven Eleven convenience store where the church was located). It was wonderful to see familiar faces and share stories with each other!
One night later that week I took a 6:30pm train (right in the middle of rush hour) on the Shōnan-Shinjuku Line. It was packed full, but I somehow managed to squeeze onto the train. Then, all of a sudden, I was swept along with the mass of people further into the middle of the train car. During rush hour at some of the busier train stations in Tokyo, there are employees with white gloves whose job is to literally push people onto the trains to fill them to maximum capacity before the doors slide shut. I'd heard about these people-pushers, but had never experienced it before. Needless to say there was no need for me to hold on to the plastic rings along the ceiling for support, I wasn't going to move anywhere. Thankfully, two stops later, a good percentage of people got off the train and I could breathe again. What an experience!
 |
| our friends Efrain and Seiko |
The second Sunday I was in Tokyo Haidee came down to visit!! We met our friend Efrain and his fiancee Seiko at Tokyo Baptist Church, and went out to lunch together afterwards. Then Haidee and I wandered around Shin-Okubo (the neighborhood where I'm staying) for the afternoon. It's kind of like a Korea Town - with lots of Korean grocery stores and restaurants. We enjoyed a somewhat pricey, but incredible meal at a Korean BBQ restaurant called プングム (Pungumu). The meal came with a variety of Korean side dishes called banchan (like kimchi, pajun, kaenip), spicy soups, and other things we didn't recognize. The best part was that the server brought the meat to our table and BBQ'd it for us on a little charcoal grill placed on our table (perfect for a chilly evening). I'd recommend this restaurant to anyone.
So, would I ever want to live in Tokyo? Probably not. It's so massive, crowded, and noisy. With all the trains, lights, buildings, hustle and bustle there's a constant energy in the air that, while it may be a little exciting at first, would really drain me out. But it's where the people are. And it's been pretty fun to not be the only strange foreigner living in the neighborhood (in fact, Tokyo is quite diverse). I think I'll continue to enjoy traveling to Tokyo for an occasional visit. . . and then I'll enjoy coming back to Fukushima!
Wrapping up the school year
It's been a week of wrapping things up here...one more kids class this afternoon, and an adult class tonight, and two classes next week, and the "school year" for 2012-2013 will officially be over! Even after teaching 4ish years in Japan, it still feels a bit unnatural for me to end the school year in March and begin the new school year two weeks later, in April! Without a long vacation or summer break, goodbyes after the end of the year feel a bit anti-climactic...more like, "Well, see you in two weeks!" :)
I'm tired. The trip to Tokyo and seeing Eric was wonderful, but started the week out in a whirlwind of activity that never quite stopped. The students were tired all week too...coming in late with glazed, droopy eyes. There is something about resting and stopping the usual schedule that is good for the soul.
There are decisions to be made, a classroom to be cleaned, new textbooks to order, a new curriculum to plan and prepare, tuition fees and questions to be dealt with, old students asking for new schedules, new students asking to meet for a level check and class placement, advertisements that need to be somehow made and put out...sometimes it feels like I'm a 26-year-old running my own business/school, and I just happen to do it all in two languages. Note: I'm neither a good business person nor good with languages.
Well...the sun is shining for today. It's a beautiful day to walk to work...beautiful day to enjoy the coming spring. There really are only a few classes left, and the other responsibilities or details will come and go. The last school year has held failures and successes...and I'm guessing the new year will as well. :)
I'm tired. The trip to Tokyo and seeing Eric was wonderful, but started the week out in a whirlwind of activity that never quite stopped. The students were tired all week too...coming in late with glazed, droopy eyes. There is something about resting and stopping the usual schedule that is good for the soul.
There are decisions to be made, a classroom to be cleaned, new textbooks to order, a new curriculum to plan and prepare, tuition fees and questions to be dealt with, old students asking for new schedules, new students asking to meet for a level check and class placement, advertisements that need to be somehow made and put out...sometimes it feels like I'm a 26-year-old running my own business/school, and I just happen to do it all in two languages. Note: I'm neither a good business person nor good with languages.
Well...the sun is shining for today. It's a beautiful day to walk to work...beautiful day to enjoy the coming spring. There really are only a few classes left, and the other responsibilities or details will come and go. The last school year has held failures and successes...and I'm guessing the new year will as well. :)
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Saturday
It's been a Saturday of school work. :)
Lots of peppermint tea has been consumed, and 20 lessons are somewhat planned for the week with notes scrawled next to times. Would anyone else understand what I mean by this?:
"5:10 - ball, song, review TB actions, Goss. bk, lng vowel phonics brd hit, conv. dice draw, FIB verb phrases (timed)..."
...let's just say the lessons are not written quite as nicely as any lesson plans I ever turned in for my education classes during college. But it will work for this last full week of classes before the end-of-the-year break.
Other highlights of the day include finding new children's songs to sing in the classroom and looking up new novels to read with students. The Giver? Moon over Manifest? The Good Master? Anne of Green Gables? To Kill a Mockingbird? The Witch of Blackbird Pond?
Such searching always make me drool a bit...so many good books...such delicious, thought-provoking, heart-wringing and joy-inspiring words... Maybe in heaven I'll teach literature circles for eternity. :)
And finally, a link to a new "classroom" song that the upper-elementary girls will love to learn, and the video is very fun: You Make Me Smile.
Mr. Selle, you are "cooler than the flip side of my pillow," just to let you know. And if that makes no sense, you'll just have to click the link above. :)
Off to an evening class...and tomorrow I'm off to Tokyo for a quick visit! Yay! :)
Lots of peppermint tea has been consumed, and 20 lessons are somewhat planned for the week with notes scrawled next to times. Would anyone else understand what I mean by this?:
"5:10 - ball, song, review TB actions, Goss. bk, lng vowel phonics brd hit, conv. dice draw, FIB verb phrases (timed)..."
...let's just say the lessons are not written quite as nicely as any lesson plans I ever turned in for my education classes during college. But it will work for this last full week of classes before the end-of-the-year break.
Other highlights of the day include finding new children's songs to sing in the classroom and looking up new novels to read with students. The Giver? Moon over Manifest? The Good Master? Anne of Green Gables? To Kill a Mockingbird? The Witch of Blackbird Pond?
Such searching always make me drool a bit...so many good books...such delicious, thought-provoking, heart-wringing and joy-inspiring words... Maybe in heaven I'll teach literature circles for eternity. :)
And finally, a link to a new "classroom" song that the upper-elementary girls will love to learn, and the video is very fun: You Make Me Smile.
Mr. Selle, you are "cooler than the flip side of my pillow," just to let you know. And if that makes no sense, you'll just have to click the link above. :)
Off to an evening class...and tomorrow I'm off to Tokyo for a quick visit! Yay! :)
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Thursday
Sometimes when I walk out of class, I realize that my jaw hurts from smiling.
Some days...many days!...the smile is real. I laugh and sing with the children, chuckle and exclaim over things with the adults. It feels like learning is happening and relationships are deepening. Other days the smile is tight, fake. I'll replay classroom conversations in my head later in the evening, wondering what could have gone better or differently. Or just chalk it up to a bad day.
I have found, in my 5 years of working in Japan, that a job at an English conversation school is more relational than educational. But relational in a...different...way than you might imagine.
On any given day, I could probably tell you what 50% of my students are doing tomorrow, or what they did yesterday. 98% of my students never ask me a question beyond, "I'm fine, thank you, how are you?"
When I hear the answer "I'm fine," I usually dig a bit deeper. "How was your day? Busy? Boring? Fun? How was work/school? What did you do?" etc. Japanese students, even if they have the English language ability, don't generally "dig" for information of any kind. Especially personal information.
Sometimes this is not an easy job. It feels like I must care, be personable, invest energy and love and passion for life and learning into my students, draw out their personalities. inspire self-confidence, exude a sense of safety...but not share myself with them.
I have heard stories about crime...long-kept marital secrets...affairs and separations...grief and despair...hatred, bitterness...giddy secret joys...
I didn't tell my students when I got engaged...when my grandfather passed away...I don't tell them my hobbies, my weekly schedule...
It is a bit like being a close friend to 50 people, but not really being known.
And I spend a lot of time smiling.
I do care about my students...very much. But it is a strange relationship.
Eric commented that Tokyo feels like a big, busy city full of single people...all alone, living in stress during the day and at night trying to find something that will help them forget the stress of the day. So many people. So alone.
I am so thankful for Eric...thankful for family and friends...thankful for loving relationships!
Tonight, weaving my way through dark streets after classes were finished, I found myself listening to "Peter, Paul, and Mary"'s "Inside" and feeling torn between laughter and tears.
"Let's say your at a pie contest, and let's say that you're the judge.
And there's lemon, lime and watermelon rind,
And one that looks like fudge.
You can't tell which pie you like the best if you only eat the crust.
In order to complete the test, a bite of filling is a must...
Inside, inside, that's the most important part.
Inside, inside, that's the place you've got to start,
Inside, inside, that's where you'll find the heart of the matter."
It is definitely a cultural thing to want to look "inside" a person. Sometimes I miss my "home culture," which would agree that looking inside is a good thing to do...a real, honest, relational thing to do.
In the end, the laughter won out. (Who can listen to the whole song and not give a chuckle?! :))
Some days...many days!...the smile is real. I laugh and sing with the children, chuckle and exclaim over things with the adults. It feels like learning is happening and relationships are deepening. Other days the smile is tight, fake. I'll replay classroom conversations in my head later in the evening, wondering what could have gone better or differently. Or just chalk it up to a bad day.
I have found, in my 5 years of working in Japan, that a job at an English conversation school is more relational than educational. But relational in a...different...way than you might imagine.
On any given day, I could probably tell you what 50% of my students are doing tomorrow, or what they did yesterday. 98% of my students never ask me a question beyond, "I'm fine, thank you, how are you?"
When I hear the answer "I'm fine," I usually dig a bit deeper. "How was your day? Busy? Boring? Fun? How was work/school? What did you do?" etc. Japanese students, even if they have the English language ability, don't generally "dig" for information of any kind. Especially personal information.
Sometimes this is not an easy job. It feels like I must care, be personable, invest energy and love and passion for life and learning into my students, draw out their personalities. inspire self-confidence, exude a sense of safety...but not share myself with them.
I have heard stories about crime...long-kept marital secrets...affairs and separations...grief and despair...hatred, bitterness...giddy secret joys...
I didn't tell my students when I got engaged...when my grandfather passed away...I don't tell them my hobbies, my weekly schedule...
It is a bit like being a close friend to 50 people, but not really being known.
And I spend a lot of time smiling.
I do care about my students...very much. But it is a strange relationship.
Eric commented that Tokyo feels like a big, busy city full of single people...all alone, living in stress during the day and at night trying to find something that will help them forget the stress of the day. So many people. So alone.
I am so thankful for Eric...thankful for family and friends...thankful for loving relationships!
Tonight, weaving my way through dark streets after classes were finished, I found myself listening to "Peter, Paul, and Mary"'s "Inside" and feeling torn between laughter and tears.
"Let's say your at a pie contest, and let's say that you're the judge.
And there's lemon, lime and watermelon rind,
And one that looks like fudge.
You can't tell which pie you like the best if you only eat the crust.
In order to complete the test, a bite of filling is a must...
Inside, inside, that's the most important part.
Inside, inside, that's the place you've got to start,
Inside, inside, that's where you'll find the heart of the matter."
It is definitely a cultural thing to want to look "inside" a person. Sometimes I miss my "home culture," which would agree that looking inside is a good thing to do...a real, honest, relational thing to do.
In the end, the laughter won out. (Who can listen to the whole song and not give a chuckle?! :))
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Wednesday
Sunshine, laundry, and the glorious cups of morning coffee.
Avocado and bean sprout salad, and a cheater's version of rice "pudding" (my favorite way to use old rice!)
Six classes, many announcements, and multiple versions of "If You're Happy and You Know It" ahead of me. In the course of today, I'll probably carry on conversations about disease, politics, science discoveries, educational theories, social tension, the location of random objects, the actions of different animals, adding "e" to make a long vowel sound, the correct pronunciation of Hokey-Pokey, shopping for gifts, and irregular past tense verbs.
Then it's home at 8:30 and hugs for Eric, who is "stopping by" for the night on his way to teaching in a different city tomorrow. Yay! :)
Avocado and bean sprout salad, and a cheater's version of rice "pudding" (my favorite way to use old rice!)
Six classes, many announcements, and multiple versions of "If You're Happy and You Know It" ahead of me. In the course of today, I'll probably carry on conversations about disease, politics, science discoveries, educational theories, social tension, the location of random objects, the actions of different animals, adding "e" to make a long vowel sound, the correct pronunciation of Hokey-Pokey, shopping for gifts, and irregular past tense verbs.
Then it's home at 8:30 and hugs for Eric, who is "stopping by" for the night on his way to teaching in a different city tomorrow. Yay! :)
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Where does Tuesday go?
Every once in awhile on Tuesday, I find myself trying at the end of the day to calculate what really happened and where the hours went. It often feels like one day I'll wake up and realize that all Tuesdays are made up of only 8 hours rather than 12. :)
Here's a basic outline of a Tuesday:
- Leave home at about 9:30am. Execute the perfectly-choreographed dance that involves cleaning the classroom, arranging the calendar, writing out some lesson plans, making tea, putting out slippers, making copies for Bible study...all before the first student walks in at 10am.
- Teach morning adult class, afternoon Bible study, afternoon private lesson, and two evening kids' classes. Plan for Wednesday's classes during free time between things.
- Come home and update the English school website while Eric teaches the evening adult class until 9pm. Look up at the clock at 8:50pm and think, "Wow! Is it really almost 9pm? Wasn't it just 9:30am a few hours ago...?" Finish the website, put out the futon, do the dishes, and reflect upon talking Eric into eating popcorn...
Anyway, that is the somewhat basic normal schedule. :) Sadly, this shortened version allows you to skip over more "juicy" parts of the day...like when I'm *strongly suggesting* to my 5-year-olds that we do not
a. hit fellow students
b. cheat during games
c. make fun of other students
d. stand on the table
e. sit under the table
f. rip textbooks
g. speak Japanese
during English class. Really, we don't. Well, most of the time we don't. Okay...sometimes we don't. :) (Sometimes, when half the kids seem to be in tears and the other half fighting, I want to sit under the table and rip textbooks myself...)
Or all of the moments when I have to stifle a chuckle or hold back a laugh at the strange English coming out of a student's mouth...or when we all just laugh together at the poor man near retirement who said he was 18 years old...
Or like when my group of ladies in Bible study ask brilliant questions about faith...or when they share about God's actions and character. When we can have conversations about Old Testament sacrifices and Jesus' immense sacrifice and God's love...
It was a good Tuesday. I'm still not quite sure where the hours went, but it was good. :)
From the Tokyo front, Eric seems to be learning good stuff! And apparently, the conveyor-belt sushi place knows him by name...or something like that. :)
Here's a basic outline of a Tuesday:
- Leave home at about 9:30am. Execute the perfectly-choreographed dance that involves cleaning the classroom, arranging the calendar, writing out some lesson plans, making tea, putting out slippers, making copies for Bible study...all before the first student walks in at 10am.
- Teach morning adult class, afternoon Bible study, afternoon private lesson, and two evening kids' classes. Plan for Wednesday's classes during free time between things.
- Come home and update the English school website while Eric teaches the evening adult class until 9pm. Look up at the clock at 8:50pm and think, "Wow! Is it really almost 9pm? Wasn't it just 9:30am a few hours ago...?" Finish the website, put out the futon, do the dishes, and reflect upon talking Eric into eating popcorn...
Anyway, that is the somewhat basic normal schedule. :) Sadly, this shortened version allows you to skip over more "juicy" parts of the day...like when I'm *strongly suggesting* to my 5-year-olds that we do not
a. hit fellow students
b. cheat during games
c. make fun of other students
d. stand on the table
e. sit under the table
f. rip textbooks
g. speak Japanese
during English class. Really, we don't. Well, most of the time we don't. Okay...sometimes we don't. :) (Sometimes, when half the kids seem to be in tears and the other half fighting, I want to sit under the table and rip textbooks myself...)
Or all of the moments when I have to stifle a chuckle or hold back a laugh at the strange English coming out of a student's mouth...or when we all just laugh together at the poor man near retirement who said he was 18 years old...
Or like when my group of ladies in Bible study ask brilliant questions about faith...or when they share about God's actions and character. When we can have conversations about Old Testament sacrifices and Jesus' immense sacrifice and God's love...
It was a good Tuesday. I'm still not quite sure where the hours went, but it was good. :)
From the Tokyo front, Eric seems to be learning good stuff! And apparently, the conveyor-belt sushi place knows him by name...or something like that. :)
Monday, March 4, 2013
Mondays
I could see my breath in the air as I walked the garbage to the curb, but the sun was shining and the distant mountains sat with snow-covered majesty in the clear blue sky.
Translation: it was a perfect day for doing laundry. :)
Monday is an official "day off," which means it is both a day of rest and also a day for doing whatever cannot easily be done on school days...errands, shopping, cooking, laundry, some classroom and Bible study preparation, talking with family via skype, going for a run, watching a movie, etc. I love the day for its practicality...I do like to teach, but cutting vegetables for soup, cleaning, or hanging laundry are all concrete things that feel good for the soul. And running is almost always a healing exercise. :)
Also, Mondays are usually time that Eric and I get to spend together. Maybe it was the living-in-two-countries-while-dating...but I think we just genuinely enjoy each other's company most of the time (at least I enjoy his! :)), and being together makes Monday good.
The main item on today's agenda, however, was not cutting vegetables or hanging out with Eric...it was an errand. (No, no...you have to put the correct emotion into the reading of that word "errand." Wrinkle the nose a bit...really lean towards being dramatic and ominous...that's right.) Anyone who has been paid in one currency and still has living expenses in different currency probably has insight into the errand of the day...let's just say that it involved banking in multiple locations. Problem: sometimes even with a certain level of Japanese, it seems impossible to get concrete answers from workers. How much will this cost? I don't know. Is this method okay? Maybe...no. Can I use this form? Yes...wait, no. The workers were very, very kind to me, and I was thankful for their patience. But that being said, it is a bit different from walking into a place in America and being able to say, "Here's the situation...can I do this?" and receiving an answer. I did try to paint a picture of the situation though...the poor workers now know about my mother, husband, me, my friend, etc...and I wonder if they were thinking all along, "My goodness, these forthright Americans..." :)
Some forms are just more difficult to fill out when you have 4 names, 5 addresses, and 2 languages to choose from. The whole thing--walking, waiting, etc.--took about 4 hours.
When I was first deciding to come to Japan, I actually wasn't planning to stay in Japan at all. I had had several experiences teaching ESL in Minnesota and enjoyed them thoroughly. One of my personal goals in coming to Japan was to live overseas and feel what being a foreigner is like, so that when I came back to the States, I would be able to more fully empathize with the people I thought would be my students. Moments like today bring that goal back to mind. I don't know at all what it's like to have to hand money to someone else and just hope that it gets where I want it to go, hope that the person is trustworthy. But I do know at least a bit of how it feels to stare at a form trying to decipher it...to want more information but be unsure how to ask for it...to try to explain a life situation that is different from the standard example, all the while knowing that governments and society work within standards and structures--and that's the way it must be.
It all makes me smile a bit, actually. I'm glad my husband trusts me to do this. :) I'm glad that we don't have to take life so seriously. I'm glad that our physical needs are so well taken care of (unlike so many other people!) that I can go to the bank, come home and cook, fold up some nice clean clothes, get online, etc.
Mondays usually remind me that I am very blessed. :)
As an after thought...I think I went a bit overboard on today's cooking. With a missing husband, one really doesn't need a huge pot of chili, rice, pancakes, sweet potato chips, and salad...hmm. Well, there's a whole week ahead of me (and a freezer if I need it). Did I mention that we are very blessed? :)
Translation: it was a perfect day for doing laundry. :)
Monday is an official "day off," which means it is both a day of rest and also a day for doing whatever cannot easily be done on school days...errands, shopping, cooking, laundry, some classroom and Bible study preparation, talking with family via skype, going for a run, watching a movie, etc. I love the day for its practicality...I do like to teach, but cutting vegetables for soup, cleaning, or hanging laundry are all concrete things that feel good for the soul. And running is almost always a healing exercise. :)
Also, Mondays are usually time that Eric and I get to spend together. Maybe it was the living-in-two-countries-while-dating...but I think we just genuinely enjoy each other's company most of the time (at least I enjoy his! :)), and being together makes Monday good.
The main item on today's agenda, however, was not cutting vegetables or hanging out with Eric...it was an errand. (No, no...you have to put the correct emotion into the reading of that word "errand." Wrinkle the nose a bit...really lean towards being dramatic and ominous...that's right.) Anyone who has been paid in one currency and still has living expenses in different currency probably has insight into the errand of the day...let's just say that it involved banking in multiple locations. Problem: sometimes even with a certain level of Japanese, it seems impossible to get concrete answers from workers. How much will this cost? I don't know. Is this method okay? Maybe...no. Can I use this form? Yes...wait, no. The workers were very, very kind to me, and I was thankful for their patience. But that being said, it is a bit different from walking into a place in America and being able to say, "Here's the situation...can I do this?" and receiving an answer. I did try to paint a picture of the situation though...the poor workers now know about my mother, husband, me, my friend, etc...and I wonder if they were thinking all along, "My goodness, these forthright Americans..." :)
Some forms are just more difficult to fill out when you have 4 names, 5 addresses, and 2 languages to choose from. The whole thing--walking, waiting, etc.--took about 4 hours.
When I was first deciding to come to Japan, I actually wasn't planning to stay in Japan at all. I had had several experiences teaching ESL in Minnesota and enjoyed them thoroughly. One of my personal goals in coming to Japan was to live overseas and feel what being a foreigner is like, so that when I came back to the States, I would be able to more fully empathize with the people I thought would be my students. Moments like today bring that goal back to mind. I don't know at all what it's like to have to hand money to someone else and just hope that it gets where I want it to go, hope that the person is trustworthy. But I do know at least a bit of how it feels to stare at a form trying to decipher it...to want more information but be unsure how to ask for it...to try to explain a life situation that is different from the standard example, all the while knowing that governments and society work within standards and structures--and that's the way it must be.
It all makes me smile a bit, actually. I'm glad my husband trusts me to do this. :) I'm glad that we don't have to take life so seriously. I'm glad that our physical needs are so well taken care of (unlike so many other people!) that I can go to the bank, come home and cook, fold up some nice clean clothes, get online, etc.
Mondays usually remind me that I am very blessed. :)
As an after thought...I think I went a bit overboard on today's cooking. With a missing husband, one really doesn't need a huge pot of chili, rice, pancakes, sweet potato chips, and salad...hmm. Well, there's a whole week ahead of me (and a freezer if I need it). Did I mention that we are very blessed? :)
Sunday, March 3, 2013
14 days with a missing husband...
Well, not really missing...let me assure everyone that Eric is quite fine (besides possibly going through some of the I-live-in-rural-Japan-and-am-now-experiencing-life-in-Tokyo culture shock that comes when, as the phrase suggests, one goes to Tokyo after living in the countryside of Japan for awhile). He is going through some job training that requires some time first in Tokyo, and then here in Fukushima, so I am on my own for awhile and thought I might try to document the days for a few reasons:
1. To share some "daily schedule" moments.
2. To document a season of change.
3. To offer some type of proof that I do not just eat ice cream and chocolate when I am separated from my husband. :) (Although I can see why some people have that impression...) :)
It is possible that these are not the most serious of reasons... :)
I have always loved spaces where one can just roll thoughts around in a somewhat lazy manner. We have been reading and praying through the first chapters of Genesis this last week because of our church's monthly "Week of Prayer," and ideas flit through my brain as I eat breakfast (oatmeal and salad :)) and stare at the blowing snow outside. "How does a person reconcile Paul's advice not to marry with God's obviously intentional partnership of Adam and Eve?...If everyone is sinful and yet made in the image of God, can there be any boundaries/laws on a person? How? What?...I wonder if the aging process is simply us becoming more and more self-focused...When I was young, I looked at the opportunities the world has to offer, and now I tend to look more at my inability to handle all of the opportunities...What does it mean to grow old or age well?"
A glance at the clock halts the mental meandering. It's time for a whirlwind of dish clean-up, clothes and make-up, and heading out the door. Today is the first Sunday of the month, so I'll be going to church in the morning here in Fukushima, and then driving an hour or so to go to another church in a nearby city. It always feels like a challenge to sneak in a lunch between the services...for some reason, people at our church (and in most of the country that I have experienced) seem to think that lunch is an unnecessary luxury to be cut whenever the afternoon schedule makes time tight. However, if one adopts a bold American attitude, simply avoiding the tea time after the first service can allow enough time for lunch on Sundays such as these. :) The second service of the day is small...5-8 people maybe...and I am the organist and Sunday-school leader, Cindy is usually the prayer leader and food/tea provider...and with the pastor and his wife we are all the church custodians. I do not understand why, for two Americans, the pastor and his wife, two church members, and one woman with an energetic son we need to use the church liturgy and hymnody which is:
A. Difficult to use for people new to the church (1 person)
B. Impossible to read for children, and difficult to read for the elderly and foreigners (4 people)
This tempts me to engage in another bout of thoughtfulness: "What is Christian discipleship?...How can I help, as a foreigner under the authority of others?...Is this meaningful?...Does it have to be meaningful to be good?..."
Usually on these 1st-Sundays-of-the-month, Eric has a warm meal waiting at 7pm...I will miss it tonight! I wonder how much exploring he will do in Tokyo today...and I wonder how much conveyor-belt sushi he will consume in 14 days... :)
1. To share some "daily schedule" moments.
2. To document a season of change.
3. To offer some type of proof that I do not just eat ice cream and chocolate when I am separated from my husband. :) (Although I can see why some people have that impression...) :)
It is possible that these are not the most serious of reasons... :)
I have always loved spaces where one can just roll thoughts around in a somewhat lazy manner. We have been reading and praying through the first chapters of Genesis this last week because of our church's monthly "Week of Prayer," and ideas flit through my brain as I eat breakfast (oatmeal and salad :)) and stare at the blowing snow outside. "How does a person reconcile Paul's advice not to marry with God's obviously intentional partnership of Adam and Eve?...If everyone is sinful and yet made in the image of God, can there be any boundaries/laws on a person? How? What?...I wonder if the aging process is simply us becoming more and more self-focused...When I was young, I looked at the opportunities the world has to offer, and now I tend to look more at my inability to handle all of the opportunities...What does it mean to grow old or age well?"
A glance at the clock halts the mental meandering. It's time for a whirlwind of dish clean-up, clothes and make-up, and heading out the door. Today is the first Sunday of the month, so I'll be going to church in the morning here in Fukushima, and then driving an hour or so to go to another church in a nearby city. It always feels like a challenge to sneak in a lunch between the services...for some reason, people at our church (and in most of the country that I have experienced) seem to think that lunch is an unnecessary luxury to be cut whenever the afternoon schedule makes time tight. However, if one adopts a bold American attitude, simply avoiding the tea time after the first service can allow enough time for lunch on Sundays such as these. :) The second service of the day is small...5-8 people maybe...and I am the organist and Sunday-school leader, Cindy is usually the prayer leader and food/tea provider...and with the pastor and his wife we are all the church custodians. I do not understand why, for two Americans, the pastor and his wife, two church members, and one woman with an energetic son we need to use the church liturgy and hymnody which is:
A. Difficult to use for people new to the church (1 person)
B. Impossible to read for children, and difficult to read for the elderly and foreigners (4 people)
This tempts me to engage in another bout of thoughtfulness: "What is Christian discipleship?...How can I help, as a foreigner under the authority of others?...Is this meaningful?...Does it have to be meaningful to be good?..."
Usually on these 1st-Sundays-of-the-month, Eric has a warm meal waiting at 7pm...I will miss it tonight! I wonder how much exploring he will do in Tokyo today...and I wonder how much conveyor-belt sushi he will consume in 14 days... :)
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